Spider-Man: Homecoming Review

I want reviews of Spider-Man on my desk by 9:30! Parker get out of my office.


Scrubbing the last Spider-Man series from everyone’s mind is no small feat, like hiding a body in a crowded apartment complex. But with the right amount of bleach, a fun script, and a few disposable trash bags, the problems of the past are long gone. Spider-Man: Homecoming takes the high school comedy-dramas of the 80’s, and injects it with a super powered kid who shoots sticky stuff from his hands and fights crime.  Somehow the former is much more entertaining than the latter.

From the director of classics like Clown and Cop Car comes the newest superhero reboot, Spider-Man: Homecoming. Peter Parker is bored helping out the citizens of Queens, New York, with day to day mundane tasks. He wants to be an Avenger, and feel like he’s doing something worthwhile with his powers. When a group of criminals selling alien weaponry shows up in town, he swings into action to prove that he has what it takes to stop them. Peter struggles to find the balance between being an awkward teenager at school and a superhero outside of it. Perhaps this life isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be.


Spiderman: Homecoming is a Marvel movie that’s hard not to enjoy. The high school scenes are plentiful, involving dances, parties, and even an academic decathlon tournament that are all funny, charming, and relatable. The action in this film on the other hand is unfortunately pedestrian. Not to say it’s terrible when you’re watching it in the theater, but it’s very forgettable once you get home and Febreze your apartment to get rid of the dead body odor.

The character moments of Peter Parker and Vulture (Michael Keaton) are where the movie shines the brightest. Not only does Vulture look bad-ass, but Keaton also kills the role. The villain feels like a real person with realistic motivations that don’t involve worldwide annihilation. Whenever he’s on screen he means business, and luckily business is booming.


A problem with this film, and many Marvel films, is the lack of stakes or consequences for what happens. Any time Peter has to make a choice in the film, everything always works out in the end despite whatever he chooses. The movie plays it safe when it has the opportunity to push the boundaries of what a Marvel movie can be. Instead it plays out much like you would expect it to after the first act, being rather predictable. There is one scene, however, that is probably the best scene in the whole cinematic universe. Who knew there could be edge-of-your-seat tension in a Spider-Man movie?

If you want to laugh, cheer, or see Michael Keaton playing another winged animal person, then Spider-Man: Homecoming won’t disappoint. If you wanted something less Marvel-y and more cinematic, well, too bad.

Overall Score: 3.5/5 stars

Being a former Academic Decathlete myself, I can tell you that is not at all how those competitions are run. They didn’t even say what the topic for the year was. Random trivia facts at Buffalo Wild Wings doesn’t equal an academic competition! Also, it would’ve taken them from like 9am to 8pm to do all the tests. Academic DECATHLON, means there are TEN different tests you compete in. That shit takes forever.

I still liked that part though.

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